


Drunk Science

by ididliterallynothingtoday



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: ALL THE SCIENCE, Crack, Explosions, F/M, Gen, M/M, Nick Fury is 1000 percent done with your shit, No Smut, Other, Sass, drunk science, fun times with a video camera, just funny, lots of science, projectile vomiting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-10
Updated: 2013-09-10
Packaged: 2017-12-26 06:07:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/962503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ididliterallynothingtoday/pseuds/ididliterallynothingtoday
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bruce is working late and Tony stops by to check on him. One thing leads to another and Bruce ends up a YouTube sensation, meanwhile S.H.I.E.L.D is left to clean up the mess...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Drunk Science

**Author's Note:**

> Assuming everyone has watched at least one CSI type programme: a Gilson is the posh type of pipette they use, they come with different pipette tips depending on how mush liquid you are transferring, a Falcon tube is the big tube with a blue screw on lid, an Eppendorf is a plastic tube that's about 2cm-ish long with a little flippy lid, a PCR tube is a teeny tiny version of an Eppendorf. PCR stands for Polymerase Chain Reaction, it's a reaction that makes loads and loads of copies of small fragments of DNA very quickly and lastly Autoclaving is just a way of sterilizing equipment.  
> All science is pretty musch accurate, if a bit simplified, and the inventions mentioned are real inventions created by Tony and Bruce within the Marvel (comics) universe.  
> Oh and yes scientists do make patterns in the pipette tip boxes... And we are OCD about numbering test tubes. (fic is un beta'd)

Bruce took his glasses off and used his sleeve to wipe them, serving only to smudge the smears on them, making them worse than before. He sighed. It was nearing midnight and he was getting nowhere with his research. He was sitting at a lab bench in front of a PCR machine copying fragments of Cap’s DNA for analysis. It was repetitive and boring and involved a lot of sitting around. The PCR machine peeped after its last cycle and Dr Banner popped the lid and carefully lifted out the small PCR tubes, one by one, and placed them in the test tube rack. He was just reaching for his Gilson pipette when in burst the one and only Tony Stark.

“Dr Banner, why on Earth are you up at this hour?” He garbled as he plonked himself down on a lab stool next to Bruce. He picked up one of small tubes and shook. “What’s this? You’re not cloning yourself are you? I mean one hulk is bad enough. You should clone me!” He grinned, leaning on his hand and shaking the tube in Bruce’s face as he spoke.

“Get off of that!” Bruce grabbed the tube and put it back in rack in numerical order with the others. Order in the lab was something he was obsessive about. An ordered lab meant an ordered mind. He breathed in deeply. Calming himself. Tony just kept on grinning, poking him in the side.

“What ya doing anyway? Still working on the super soldier serum?”

Bruce nodded. “I found some traces in Agent Romanovs DNA of the Russian knock off serum, so I’m cross referencing these to Cap’s DNA to search for the full segment. Once I get that I can…”

  
“Reverse the code to get Amino Acids. These give the protein, with all of that you can make some mRNA and that combined with a reverse transcriptase gives you the serum. Yadda yadda yadda, blah blah blah. Biochem sucks. Nothing gets set on fire and nothing explodes. Even applying physics to that stuff it’s still boring.” Tony started making patterns in the pipette tips box.

“Well not everything involves flying round in a suit shooting things and saving people.”

“It’s one of life’s great woes. So aaaaanyway, I have a really nice bottle of scotch.” Tony pushed a bottle and two tumblers towards Bruce, who hadn’t noticed them until then.

  
Bruce frowned, “Tony, I’m working and even if I weren’t…”

“It’s nearly midnight!” he checked his watch, “Scratch that it is midnight! You do know I only pay you for nine to five? We don’t have a clocking in system. You need a break before you come back tomorrow. Stick the DNA on ice, and I’ll stick the Scotch on ice. Hmm?” He waggled his eyebrows at Bruce and nodded towards the Scotch. Bruce pursed his lips and looked over his glasses at Tony.

“I may not be a drinker, but even I know Scotch does not go on ice, it needs to be at room temperature for the flavour to be appreciated.” He took off his glasses and slipped them in his pocket. He knew he was going to regret this in the morning. Tony slapped him on the back.

“That’s my man!”

“Just one drink, Tony. I do have work to do tomorrow.” Tony gave him that smile, the one that didn’t need words to tell Bruce it really wasn’t going to be just one drink…

***

Two thirds of the bottle between them later and Bruce was feeling pretty jolly. He sat there grinning inanely as Tony told him about the year he made it his hobby to bed every single playboy cover girl, and included all the gory details. Tony had asked about his sexual escapades, but wasn’t surprised by Bruce’s drawled reply of “I’m Dr Bruce Banner. Typical reclusive physics nerd. Seriously, what do you have expected me to have done?”

“I dunno… I mean, you haven’t like, hulked out and gone for it? I hear angry sex is the best sex.” Tony giggled teasingly.

“Shut up Tony!” Bruce giggled back, “Just because you have a one track mind doesn’t mean the rest of us do!”

“No really, I’m not joking! Seriously, the other day I interrupted Pepper in the middle of this really important business call with an overseas investor and she flew off the handle and me and then suddenly we-”

“I swear to god if the next words out of your mouth are “we were having sex on her desk” I will Hulk out right here and smash you.” Bruce said as he got up, swaying slightly, to add emphasis to his point.

Tony just grinned and looked up at Bruce suggestively, “It wasn’t her desk…” he whispered.

“OH GOD MAN! SHUT UP!” Bruce cried, he threw his hands in the air and flumped back down into his stool, downing the rest of his drink. They were still sat next to his PCR machine and Bruce’s eyes wandered over to his DNA samples. “Fuck.” He muttered, “I should have put these in the freezer.” He made to grab the box but Tony got there before him.

“Allow me sweet cheeks. You’re looking a little uh… drunk.”

“Well if I’m drunk it’s your fault!” Bruce mustered his best glower and aimed it at Tony. He just laughed at Bruce.

“You didn’t seem to mind all the details earlier.” Tony said, turning round and walking backwards to the freezer while talking to Bruce.

“Yeah, but it’s different though! I know Pepper. I seriously don’t think I could look her in the eye knowing what kinds of things you two get up to in your spare time…” Bruce frowned and went to drink, but found his tumbler empty. Tony suddenly reappeared to refill his glass with the last of the bottle, placing a new full one in its place as he chucked the old one in the nearest bin. “Hey, that’s meant to be a biological materials waste bin, not general waste!”

Tony rolled his eyes, “Ugh, what you want me to go bin raiding to get it back out?”

“What!? No, of course not, there’s hazardous Biological waste in there that’s waiting to be autoclaved. I’ll get it out tomorrow, no today, I don’t know. Why do we have another bottle of Scotch?”

“So we can drink more?” Tony said waving the bottle in front of Bruce, “Speaking of which drink up.” He lifted Bruce’s tumbler to his lips and tilted, Bruce eventually drank it. After he put the glass back down Tony refilled it nearly to the brim.

“Are you deliberately trying to get me drunk?” Bruce said, as he sipped from the refilled glass.

“Yes.” Tony replied as he topped Bruce up.

“Where did you even find this?”

“I have stashes of various beverages all over the tower. It ensures my glass never runs dry, and now neither will yours.” Tony smiled refilling the glass once again. “You know we should make vlog.”

“A what?”

“A video blog, YouTube, Me and you, it could be sci-”

“You mean you and I.”

“Yeah that’s what I said, me and you. I wanna make a-”

“No. You and I, it’s correct grammar.” Bruce drew lazy circles on the lab bench; his head flopped to one side, “Grammar is very important.” He nodded slightly to himself. Tony raised one eyebrow and downed his scotch, he refilled his glass before continuing.

“Yeah. You and I, a science vlog. About whatever crazy experiment you wanna do.” Tony waved his arms at Bruce, scotch in danger of spilling as he did so.

“I don’t know. I mean we’re pretty drunk.”

“Oh come on!” Tony scoffed, “We’ve done all our best stuff when we’ve been drunk!” Bruce looked at Tony incredulously, but he didn’t notice and carried on talking. “This tower, the arc reactor, the suit, your banner shield and pocket teleporter… The list is endless.”

“What? Don’t bring my inventions into this! I have never been drunk in the lab! And you! You were in a cave in the middle of the desert when you invented the suit and the miniature arc reactor!”

“AH yes! The old suit and the mini arc reactor. I was drunk when I invented the newer suits and my dad was definitely drunk when he invented the arc reactor. He was always drunk.”

“You know, I feel like that says something about your childhood right there.”

“I thought you weren’t ‘that kind of doctor’?” Tony air quoted, after nudging Bruce’s drink closer to him.

Bruce sighed, eyes rolling and took a gulp of scotch, “Fine but I have never been drunk in the lab.”

“Au contraire.” Tony smirked, “What about the morning after the night where Thor bought back that Asgardian mead and we spent ages playing drinking games?”

“I was hung over.”

“Oh no you were drunk. I have the blood samples to prove it.”

“WHAT?” Bruce whipped his head up to face Tony, his eyes eventually caught up, “When? HOW?”

“See,” Tony said topping them both up, “You were that drunk you don’t even remember.” He clinked his glass with Bruce’s before downing the lot. “Now man up, we’re making a YouTube video.”

“About?”

“Science.”

“That’s an awfully large topic you know. We should at least choose an experiment and then explain it or something…”

Tony blinked hurriedly and shook his head, “I’m sorry did I say it was an educational video?” Tony stood and looked round the lab, it had benches and cupboards round the walls, which were home to Bruce’s supplies and larger pieces of lab equipment. The lab also had a long bench in the middle of it. The middle bench was vaguely clear of things, but it had a few boxes of pipette tips and larger cardboard boxes of falcon tubes and eppendorfs and a nicely set up glass chemistry set that appeared to be in the process of distilling something. Tony grabbed the nearest boxes and lobbed them onto the nearest side bench. He tried to move the glass equipment, but failed. He turned to Bruce frowning and found Bruce glaring back at him.

“Those pipette tips are custom made for my custom made Gilson. Did you know that?”

“Ugh yes actually, I pay for them.” Tony crowed, turning back to the bench, after clearing the rest of the boxes and managing to slid the glass equipment, intact, down the bench somewhat. “Oh Dummy, Dummy here boy!” he half turned to Bruce gesturing with one hand, “That wasn’t aimed at you by the way. But you should get here too.” Bruce huffed and stood up, he gathered the scotch and tumblers to take with him. Tony hummed in approval. He had a smug look plastered all over his face.

With a soft hiss the double doors of the lab opened and in rode Dummy. He had already had a camera in his robotic grasp.

“You planned this didn’t you?” Bruce asked, Tony didn’t even bother to answer. “Over here please, Dummy.” Tony gestured to the opposite side of the bench, “Wide angle please, get in as much as possible of us.” Dummy stopped and turned slowly to face them, they could hear the camera lens focusing over the general hum of the lab equipment. “Dummy darling our eyes are up here!” he quipped feigning offense as he strode to the other end of the lab “Bring up the feed on Bruce’s laptop.” Tony flipped up the screen, with disgust, “I can’t believe you use this clapped out old thing.”

“I programmed it myself! It’s reliable and it has all my things on it.” Bruce said defensively, he loitered awkwardly waiting for Tony. He didn’t feel comfortable with a camera on him.

“Yeah, but all you could have all your things on the Stark cloud. It would be much faster and easier to use than this old thing. I could get you a Stark pad and some nice shiny screens?”

“You ask me this every time you’re in here, Tony. The answer is no. I like my laptop.”

Tony just shrugged and bought the laptop back down to where he’d cleared the bench and placed it next him so he could keep an eye on the feed. “Where do you wanna start?”

“Well I feel we should at least explain some basic-”

“Explosions, fantastic!” Tony bent over slightly and tapped a few keys on the computer.

Bruce trued to get a look over Tony’s shoulder, “What are you doing on there?”

Stark ignored him and stood bolt up-right, positioning Bruce next to him, grinning he placed one hand on Bruce’s shoulder and began, “Good day ladies and gentlemen. My name is Tony Stark and this here is my colleague Dr Bruce Banner. Tony we’re going to be showing you how to make a pocket sized repulsor beam!”

Bruce knocked Tony’s hand off, “Tony, I think that might be a little advanced to begin with. Not to mention asking for trouble…”

“Ok then what? Miniature disintegrator ray?”

“What? No! Just like, I don’t know, teach them about something fun they can do at home.” Bruce could feel his blood pressure rising. Why the hell had he agreed to do this in the first place when he knew that Tony would end up doing something stupid?

“What like Mentos and Coke? This isn’t kindergarten.” Tony frowned at Bruce, but then had an idea. Bruce could practically see the light bulb over Tony’s head. “We should do a will it blend!”

Bruce took a deep breath before facing Tony, “And what exactly would we blend?”

“I uhhh… You kill me if I named any of your lab equipment wouldn’t you?”

Bruce nodded wordlessly.

“What about…. Hand grenades?” Bruce shook his head, “Smoke grenades?” and continued to shake it, “Glitter grenades?” as Tony carried on talking, “Oh come on! They could be environmentally friendly! We could call them party bombs! It would be so awesome!”

“No.”

“But I want something to explode!”

“Well, why not start basic chemistry… Like Alkali metals.”

“Are you serious? That’s like kids’ stuff!”

“We cannot teach the general public how to make dangerous weapons!”

“Pfft. Fine, but I’m not explaining the science.” Tony moaned as he wandered off to find the necessary equipment.

“O-ok.” Bruce looked directly into the camera, “So ugh, this is going on the internet huh?” He fumbled with his glasses in his lab coat pocket and put them on, just as Tony came back with a large glass beaker of water and some forceps. “Rule number one always wear a lab coat and safety specs in the lab. Huh Tony?”

“What? I don’t do safety.” Tony turned to the camera, “I am Iron Man” and threw up a peace sign, before wandering of to browse Bruce’s ‘Hazardous Materials’ cupboard.

“So ugh… After dressing in the appropriate gear,” Bruce looked round before turning to grab his safety glasses off of the bench behind him and shoving them on over his normal glasses, “We can umm begin to think about the experiment ahead of us. Today we will be showing you-”

“Ooooh you have Uranium in here!”

“Don’t even think about it, Tony!” Bruce glowered, before turning back to the camera, “We will be showing you-”

“The power of science!” Tony cut in as he returned with an arm full of jars, “These are the alkali metals.” He gestured to the jars in from of him, “They are so dangerous they must be kept under oil. They react vigorously with oxygen and ferociously with water.”

“Well no, that’s not true, I mean well it is but, not all of them react that ferociously with wa-”

“The first element we will be demonstrating is the most reactive element of the group, Potassium.”

“I thought you weren’t gonna do the explanations?”

Tony fidgeted looking at Bruce, “Fine.”

“Potassium reacts very readily with oxygen and water. When reacting with water it produces Hydrogen…” Bruce watched Tony removing the Potassium from the jar, “You are going to cut a small bit off that aren’t you?” Tony mumbled a yes and continued speaking, looking at the camera, “The reaction also produces heat. The reaction can be dangerous because enough heat is produced that is sets the Hydrogen alight.” Bruce smiled at the camera and he heard a soft hissing sound, he looked down at the beaker of water as the hissing grew louder, “Tony! You put the whole lump of Potassium in!” Bright flames burst up from the beaker and Bruce lunged at Tony, throwing him to the ground just as the Potassium exploded, taking the beaker with it. The two scientists were covered in a spray of water and glass.

Tony laughed triumphantly as he wormed his way out from underneath Bruce, “That was awesome!” He said as he sat up. Bruce was glaring at him. Neither of them noticed the other jars of metals rolled off of the bench until they smashed on the ground.

“Oh for fucks sake, Tony!”

“Oh, so you do swear?” Tony grinned, a small robot came whizzing round the corner and hovered up the glass, oil and metal. Only a faint smudge of the oil was left as it whizzed back round the corner. “You were saying dear Bruce?”

“I hate you.” He replied as they both righted themselves and stood back in front of the camera.

“Well,” Tony began, “It appears that our other samples were destroyed in the small explosion you all just witnessed.” He wrapped an arm around Bruce’s waist and pulled him close, “So unfortunately we’re going to have to cut this video short. So it’s a goodbye from the Avengers Science Corner.”

“Wait Avengers Science Corner? Since when were we calling it that?”

“Goodbye ladies and gentlemen!” Tony waved with his free hand and then tapped a few keys on the laptop. The feed from the camera disappeared and it went into sleep mode. “Well that was slightly more than boring, I guess. Tony pulled over a lab stool and grabbed the scotch, “Certainly an entertaining interlude to the evening wouldn’t you say Dr Banner?”

Bruce sat down and downed his scotch, “Are you going to replace that equipment?”

“What? One beaker and a few jars of possibly the cheapest substances in this lab? Ugh yeah ok, you know I’m going to treat you! You can have five new beakers. Hell why not splash out, I’m a billionaire! I’ll buy you an hundred!” Tony flailed and refilled their tumblers yet again.

***

Bruce just listened to Tony as he rambled on. He couldn’t believe how careless his friend had been. He sat and drank in silence, not replying to Tony. Before long his eyes were blurry, really blurry. He tried to focus on Tony’s face but couldn’t. If he were more sober he would have become suspicious Tony’s actions that evening, but he was drunk and the answers seemed to lie in drinking more. So he did, while he listened to Tony talking at him and occasionally poke him with different pointy objects. Bruce lay his head down on the desk. He was sleepy from all the alcohol. He tried to let himself drift off…

“Oh no you don’t big guy!” a particularly sharp jolt knocked Bruce out of his reverie and in a brief flash of almost sober clarity he realised what Tony was trying to do.

He stood up, one hand on the lab bench, the other on the stool behind him, “Are you- Are you trying to get me to change?”

“What? No, I love you as the reclusive genius you are. Never change.”

“Shut up Stark! You know what I mean!” Bruce’s head was spinning and he sat back down. He didn’t feel too great.

“My answer is still the same little buddy. No need to go changing.” Tony gave Bruce a pat on the shoulder and nudged his glass towards him. He smirked, “One more?”

Bruce rolled his eyes. His head was hurting, but the rest of him still felt comfortable in its drunken state, he thought he might have needed the toilet. “If I must,” He sipped from the glass, “It doesn’t of anything anymore.” He stated, but carried on sipping none the less. “But, if you aren’t trying to get me to hulk out, then why all the alcohol? And the stupidly dangerous distractions this evening?”  
Tony pursed his lips and avoided eye contact with Bruce. He took a deep breath before he began, “Ok firstly Bruce it’s now nearly like, ten in the morning but umm. I think I… I have a confession. I-I re-calibrated your Gilson pipettes to be out by 0.2 micro-litres.” Tony stared Bruce dead in the eye.

“You what?” Bruce was confused, confounded, “How long?”

Tony dropped his gaze, “Nearly a week…”

Bruce gasped, his drunken mind reeling. How could this be? His lab was secure only… Only Tony had access because he wrote the security programme. “All my experiments. I was so close. I don’t- I don’t know what to do. I’ll have to start again.”

“I’m sorry big guy.” Tony gave Bruce a shy smile.

“Don’t even start.” Bruce’s mind began to focus. His drunken state turning over to rage, he could feel his pulse quicken. “Don’t even begin to apologise. There is NO WAY YOU CAN BE SORRY! YOU SHIT!” Bruce stood up and moved towards Tony, “I trusted you! You ASSHOLE!” His fist clenched into a ball and he swung at Tony. But Tony wasn’t as wasted as Bruce and moved faster, dodging the blow.

“Now listen here big fella…” Tony raised his hands defensively

“No YOU listen here!” Bruce swung round to face Tony as he dodged his blows, Bruce could feel his vision going green, his pupils dilated. “You need to leave…” Tony moved closer to him as if to offer help, it was all Bruce could do to yell, “NOW!”

***

When Bruce awoke he smelt foul. He was lying face up in a pool of his own vomit. He twitched his hands and feet, making sure all his limbs were present and correct. His head was pounding and he had to blink a few times to clear his vision. He rustled as he sat up. “What the-” he looked down; he was still in his clothes. But how?

Bruce used the stool and lab bench to pull himself up right. Apart from the knocked over tumblers, and shards of glass from their experiment gone wrong, there was no real damage. Literally everything was the same as it had been the night (morning?) before. Bruce was actually having a hard time remembering how the lab had looked the night before, but still, Dummy was still across from where they had done their experiments and had (from the evidence) been drinking. The scotch was still there, all of his lab equipment was in place, apart from some pipette boxes, and his chemistry equipment seemed undamaged by last night’s escapades.

Bruce rubbed his eyes and ruffled his hair, trying to feel more awake. He let out an almighty yawn, stretched and looked at the clock, it was nearly 12, midday or midnight he had no idea it was an analogue. Tip toeing through the vomit on the floor, Bruce felt his stomach churn as a fresh wave of smell hit him. He cursed Tony under his breath and made his way out of the lab, Tony was definitely going to be the one to clean up the mess. By hand, on his knees, with nothing but a bucket of water and a small cloth. That would teach him not to get Bruce so ridiculously drunk in the lab.

  
Bruce exited the lab and made for the lifts, he decided to head straight to Starks penthouse where The Avengers had their communal living area to see if he could find Tony and some painkillers and possibly an entire pot of coffee. He didn’t feel quite ready for solids yet. When the lift doors opened his eyes met a sight he not quite expected. The sky outside was light, meaning it was midday the day after the events with Tony, Bruce assumed. But what surprised him was that Agent Coulson and Director Fury were sat at the Avengers dining room table, along with Tony and what appeared to be a Stark screen, on wheels, showing a live feed of Bruce’s lab.

It was right then that it all hit Bruce, “You little-”

“Dr Banner.” Agent Coulson began, “So nice of you to join us. We had expected that in your delicate state you would head straight for your own quarters. But I suppose it’s better this way, it means we can take your statement and clear this mess up a little quicker.”

“My statement? About what?” Bruce was immediately on the defensive. He liked Coulson, but anything to do with any government agency always inspired mistrust in him.  
“Your activities yesterday with Mr Stark.”

“We aren’t dating.” Tony chimed in, “If that’s what you’re asking. I have a stable relationship already at the moment.” He sipped on a mug of what Bruce assumed to be coffee, which was confirmed as Bruce went and sat down next to Tony and was passed his own mug.

“I was actually referring to the live YouTube feed that was set up last night from Dr Banner’s lab. What you two do or do not do sexually to each other is of no concern to me.”

“Of course, Agent. Your more interested in Steve.” Tony grinned, Coulson blushed and Bruce smiled into his coffee. It was just the right temperature, two sugars, exactly as Bruce liked it. It was almost like Tony had expected him to show up.

“That is an almost libellous statement Mr Stark. But if we could get back on topic, I would like-”

“I would like to know which of you idiots decided that creating a live stream on YouTube of government property was a good idea?” Director Fury interjected.

“Well, I think we all know who it was.” Coulson said coolly, staring at Tony.

Tony leaned forward, “You know Agent Coulson, with the right security footage that could be seen as a libellous statement.” He smiled sarcastically and leant back. Bruce chuckled.

“Enough!” Fury shouted, bringing his hand down onto the table, “I want answers now. This whole thing is a PR disaster. The entire stream from last night has gone viral.” Fury gesticulated wildly, standing up with such force it sent his chair flying backwards, “I have copies of ‘The Avengers Science Corner’ on every social networking site known to man and ‘Dr Banner Projectile Vomiting’ is now the most watched video on YouTube! So you tell me right now whose idea this was!” He leant down into Tony’s face and grabbed him by the collar of his t-shirt.

“Jack Daniels.” Tony tried to keep a straight face, "Also Jim Beam."

Fury let him go and Tony erupted in a fit of laughter, even Bruce joined in a little. Coulson that their stoically (but every time he recounted the story after Tony swore he saw a smirk).

“I am surrounded by idiots! Dr Banner, the feed came from your laptop but I really do not think you would be so foolish as to broadcast that- that mess to the entire world.” Fury began to pace, “This is not just a PR disaster it is also a massive security breach. I cannot, I will not believe you actually came up with this idea Dr Banner. Stark I know this was you, just admit it!”

“What so I can be punished?” Tony eyed Fury as he paced, but Bruce’s eyes were on Tony. How in the hell could he be so sober?

Fury rounded on Stark, “Yes so you can be punished! As of right now, Mr Stark I am suspending you from The Avengers. You will no longer be privy to any secure information and you will not be taking part in any missions. I currently have Agent Romanoff installing software into Jarvis’ server that will de-activate your security clearance to use the Iron man suits.”

Tony leant forward in his chair, “You cannot do that! That is illegal! They are Stark property, they’re mine!” Bruce moved Tony’s coffee cup so he wouldn’t knock it over and remained silent.

Fury ignored Tony and looked at Bruce, “As for you Dr Banner, you will clean up the mess in your lab and then you will get back to work. You are also suspended from The Avengers. I didn’t want to do this but as I don’t have the full story from either one of you, this is going to a review board.”

“What do you mean you don’t have the full story?” Tony said, as he stood angrily to face Fury, “From what you said it was all over YouTube!” Tony grabbed Bruce with one hand and his coffee with the other. “We are leaving. As we are no longer part of The Avengers initiative I suppose we’re no longer welcome in The Avengers tower so we’ll just see ourselves out.” Tony smiled at Fury and Coulson before pushing Bruce towards the lift. They both got in and Bruce waited until the doors had shut before he addressed Tony.

“You’re a real dick, you know that Stark?”

Tony just laughed and slung an arm round Bruce’s shoulder, “C’mon big guy. I’m not that bad!”

“Yeah I know… but I just,” Bruce paused; he wasn’t really comfortable talking about the fragments he did remember from last night. He knew he had seen green, “I just, after what happened.”

“Nothing happened, Bruce.”

“But it could have!” Bruce looked at Tony imploringly, “I just worry, y’know? I have a good thing going here and I don’t wanna mess it up.”

“I won’t let you.” Tony pulled Bruce into a one armed hug, “You didn’t change at that’s what counts.”

“Yeah… I just wanna know why. I mean, I was on the brink of it…” Bruce trailed off. He’d never talked to anyone about the process of changing into the Hulk before.

“Well,” Tony began, step out of the lift and turning back to face Bruce, walking backwards in the direction of the labs, “I have over 24 hours footage to review and fresh bottle of scotch sitting in my lab.” He smirked at Bruce as he turned back and carried on walking.

“You’re incorrigible.”

“I don’t even know the meaning of the word.” Tony chuckled as unlocked the door to his lab.

Bruce followed him in diligently. The scotch and two tumblers were already set up on the side. Bruce shook his head and pulled up a swivel chair in front of the Stark screen, just as Tony voice rang out from the speakers.

“Good day ladies and gentlemen. My name is Tony Stark…”


End file.
